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To enlighten you, we employed the brilliance of Burning Angel founder Joanna Angel to review and rank the nine most well-known celebrity porn videos. Belding sends Screech to detention for the rest of his life for putting this shitty piece of cinema out into the world, if you can even call it that! I would figure he would put in a little more of a show even if he wasn't expecting anyone to see the tape. Gene Simmons has the life, but I don't ever want to watch him have sex again. I was expecting a little more energy from someone who was responsible for planning a brutal assault.

As a director, punk-porn princess, and adult entertainment aficionado, suffice to say this is a woman who knows a thing or two about the dos and don'ts of sex on screen. There is nothing sexy about anything or anyone in this video. I gotta hand it to him, he is really not in good shape at all, and his face looks incredibly weathered. They always say crazy people are good in bed, and I just don't think that applies here.

The celebrity sex tape has bestowed new dimensions of fame upon already-famous people and offered endless watercooler fodder for the last 15 years.

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